Our home study is done!
We completed our home study today! Our caseworker spent three hours searching our home, asking us questions about our childhood, mental health status, and marital conflicts. The actual home study, mind you, is entirely separate from the endless amounts of paperwork we've completed, some of which asked us to describe each of our siblings in detail, outline our past experiences in therapy, disclose our taxes and financial statements and provide thorough medical referrals from our general doctors. The adoption process is an interesting one. It's invasive and vulnerable and frequently uncomfortable. It requires you to step back and question whether or not you're really ready to be a parent. The "not knowing" where your child is or when you'll find them is strange and somewhat unsettling, but there hasn't been a second where we've doubted this process.
Our caseworker looked at us this morning, sitting across from us at our kitchen table, and asked how we think adoption will change our lives. Joseph looked at me and I at him, knowing full well we have no idea what it's going to look like, but also knowing we are entirely devoted to this process, no matter what comes our way. Although we're feeling a wide range of emotions over here, the resounding feeling is peace. We're at peace because we know this is right. We're content because we know God's hand is guiding this process. And we're grateful because we know when the time is right, we will find our baby.